Wednesday, December 16, 2015

On a roll!

Still hangin' in there! and dropping weight, a few ounces a day. I'm doing the ketosis plan but trying not to obsess over carbs--meaning if I go over 10%, I don't have hysterics. I'm also trying not to be so frugal; let's face it, Grocery Outlet frozen chicken breasts aren't the same as those from Whole Foods. I can't afford to (well the diet can't afford to) taste something, say ICKKK, throw it away, and look hungrily at the almonds. Nor can I afford to remember that the last time I prepared a frozen Jenny-o turkey patty, I gagged and tossed it (well, gave it to Obi). Because when I remember, I can't bring myself to prepare another one! Which is what happened last night. So my dinner ended up being a second 1/4 cup of almonds and an ounce of cheese. This is not the best choice for dinner.

Exercise has dwindled down quite a bit, only around four hours a week for the last four weeks. It's been very cold, so who wants to get up and go? Although at tennis yesterday, there was Camille in shorts and one of my skimpy tennis tops playing with folks wearing long pants, long sleeves, ear muffs, hats, and mittens--I kid you not! (This fact does not, however, make it any easier to get up and go!)

I'm reading Eckhart Tolle's A NEW EARTH: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. I think it's helping because when I feel what he calls the "pain-body" (all those awful memories that have colored one's reactions to triggers in the present) creeping in, I remember (or try to remember) that that isn't me, that's my pain-body.

It's also helping to be working on the Eldercize nonprofit. That's a hard one to explain, but I think it has something to do with letting go of some other pain-bodies relating to self-esteem. I remind myself that I don't need anyone to tell me what to do, that I already am capable and knowledgeable, that I have everything I need to accomplish this, and when I need help/advice, I can get it without other pain-bodies trying to make me feel stupid or incompetent. All I have to do is re-enter the NOW. Extremely helpful. And if in the NOW, I'm being very lazy, that's ok, too, because it is what it is.

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